The song

There is a corner in my cold black soul that sways with a song of adulation. The words are for one that has brought an ascension of learning of what suffering and tourture a frail heart can endure.
Tears flow to the beat and I lay my emotions on the altar of the drummer.

Dyspneic

Sturggling with the chains that confine, I lay here on the cold dank floor wondering why all I can see is the enigmatic air that suronds my soul. Letting my mind wonder off it tends to revolve around all the aphotic events in my life. Circling back again and again on the tourtous reminders of a past too bestial to face with out protection.
Unable to move away from the pictures that float to and fro in the hellish tomb that is my mind, I realize I struggle in vain.
My ears are deaffened with the sounds of the ages forgone. My eyes are blinded by air to heavy to breath. My limbs are usless tunks that can not move in any form to cover my naked scared body.
So I resign myself and observe all that I can not control. And allow the fact that there will be no respite to be the only friend my soul can feel.

Walls

I have grown weary of the troubles in my heart. Too many feelings run through as if there were no walls to stop them. This can not continue for me. I have grown too weary of this. Perhaps the walls need to be rebuilt. Stronger, higher, and thicker.

There is no understanding of these troubles that rule the heart. Only the desire to have them stopped.

There has to be some way to to plunge the heart into total darkness so that nothing can reach it, nothing can find it, and all that is seen, felt, heard, loved, lost, hated, will be safe.

Beautiful walls of stone and ice. Surround me completely and hide the light from my heart.

If

Insecurities still fly unctrolled through the veins of my life. I do not know how to control these issues that arise within me. If only for a few minutes they would go away and my mind would settle down to a dull roar. If only I could control the things in life I fear.

If only....
What if....

I wish.

Arms

Stumbling along life's path. Trying so hard to avoid the pit falls and snakes we encounter. Finding once in a while a cool place to stop and rest. But move on we must, no matter the cost. As one foot sets in front of the other, weather it be with glee or heavy heart, the path grows shorter but seems so long.
Once in a while a hand comes along for us to hold while we walk. How precious that time, how short in looking back. Wondering why we did not stop nor hold on more tightly. Will another hand take the place or will the path be lonely all the way?

My path has been fraught with many pit falls and way too many snakes to count. The hands that have held have been few and so very far between. And now, well now there are arms that surround me on my path. Holding me upright and helping me over the pot holes in the road. Pushing me up the mountains and holding tight coming back down.

How warm these arms are in the winters along the path. How cool and comforting these arms in the summers heat.

How precious the time I have had in these arms.

Always wondering, some times doubting, but always hoping. To be in them till the end.

Wishing to find a way to express how much these arms are needed. Wishing to find a way to express how loved they are. Needing to find a way to express how much they have meant along the path.

On flat roads, through gullies, and mountains high. The arms and hands and loving words from my Beloved have been with me and have meant more than the air that I breath. And how I wish that I could make him see, the way I feel.

I wish I could make him feel. The power in his arms. The security they bring and the meaning they have given me.

As the Crow Sings

Lines have been crossed. Boarders have been blurred. Walls have crumbled.
Hands have reached out. Arms have brought comfort. I have stumbled.

Words

Alas, there are not enough words. None with the deep meaning and feeling that I can say. No dictionary holds those words. And I am lost without a way to express them if I could.